“What to do to be with your beloved?“

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We met when we were 17 years old. After a short communication, they stopped seeing. Then, already at 22, they met as lovers, until I found out that he has a girlfriend and she is pregnant. Now both of us 33. I found it two years ago at the „Odnoklassniki“ – we started to communicate, and for 2 years we have been meeting.

He is divorced, I am also raising my son. Our meetings are rare, have sex and talk. But the relationship is not developing. He has two works and a daughter, I have a son and a difficult relationship with my parents. My beloved does not introduce me to my friends, does not speak about feelings, about the future too. And I am very attached to him and I want more.

Elena, obviously that you are not satisfied with the current situation, and you want to change her. You need great certainty in relations with this person. However, it seems that he is not ready to step on the same rake again (I mean marriage). Whether we want it or not, but he has every right to do so.

Nevertheless, it seems to me that in fact your man in his own way also wants some development of relations, but runs away-in his two works, to guilt in front of his daughter. As a result, your relationship with him exists, but you both pay them clearly not enough attention.

I would say your relationship is similar to

seedlings, planted and forgotten in the country with two people who have a lot of things in the city. There is seedlings, but it is by itself. Nobody waters it in the morning and does not cover it at night, so it is not so much growing as it survives. In order for seedlings to grow and bear fruit in the future, you need to take care of it.

In order to begin to change relationships, you need to pay the necessary attention to them, talk about them and those experiences and feelings that form their basis, the “root system”.

Perhaps if you show persistent efforts in this direction, the relationship will begin to gradually change, develop. And you will begin to build your life yourself.

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