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“What to do to be with your beloved?“

We met when we were 17 years old. After a short communication, they stopped seeing. Then, already at 22, they met as lovers, until I found out that he has a girlfriend and she is pregnant. Now both of us 33. I found it two years ago at the „Odnoklassniki“ – we started to communicate, and for 2 years we have been meeting.

He is divorced, I am also raising my son. Our meetings are rare, have sex and talk. But the relationship is not developing. He has two works and a daughter, I have a son and a difficult relationship with my parents. My beloved does not introduce me to my friends, does not speak about feelings, about the future too. And I am very attached to him and I want more.

Elena, obviously that you are not satisfied with the current situation, and you want to change her. You need great certainty in relations with this person. However, it seems that he is not ready to step on the same rake again (I mean marriage). Whether we want it or not, but he has every right to do so.

Nevertheless, it seems to me that in fact your man in his own way also wants some development of relations, but runs away-in his two works, to guilt in front of his daughter. As a result, your relationship with him exists, but you both pay them clearly not enough attention.

I would say your relationship is similar to

seedlings, planted and forgotten in the country with two people who have a lot of things in the city. There is seedlings, but it is by itself. Nobody waters it in the morning and does not cover it at night, so it is not so much growing as it survives. In order for seedlings to grow and bear fruit in the future, you need to take care of it.

In order to begin to change relationships, you need to pay the necessary attention to them, talk about them and those experiences and feelings that form their basis, the “root system”.

Perhaps if you show persistent efforts in this direction, the relationship will begin to gradually change, develop. And you will begin to build your life yourself.

What are the differences in the male and female brain

Who is easier to adapt to changes? Does testosterone affect aggressive and sexual behavior? Why do boys at birth volume more than the brain volume? We tell, relying on scientific facts.

Neurobiology is a fairly young science that involves in the study of the principles of the brain of specialists of various spheres. Its purpose is to search for answers to questions of the functioning of the brain of men and women. It allows us to study the anatomical and functional differences between men and women, as well as the effect on the development of the brain of environmental factors. Let’s figure out why we believe that „men from Mars, and women from Venus“.

Neurobiological studies are divided into two areas – the study of elements of the nervous system (cells, membranes, molecules) and analysis of behavior and its mechanisms.

Neuronauk also combines two approaches: the approach “from the bottom up”, which is aimed at studying the organization of the network and brain processes;and the approach “from top to bottom”, which studies the manifestations of the functioning of the brain in order to understand the organization, behavior and psycho -emotional reaction of a person.

Finally, when studying the brain, it is necessary to take into account the fact that it develops and is rebuilt over time. This plasticity questions our knowledge about the processes associated with “acquired” during the initial development of its functions.

The main differences of the male and female brain

1. Physiological features

At birth, a man’s brain is about 10% more than a woman’s brain. MRI studies have shown differences in the internal structure of the brain depending on the floor: in girls, on average, a little more than gray matter (neurons responsible for muscle activity and sensory perception), and boys have slightly more white matter (neuro nerve fibers of neurons that provide the relationship betweenareas of the brain).

Until now, no study has explained these sexual differences in specific abilities and behavior: the ability to do several things at the same time, orientation in space, language skills and other. In fact, these differences are insignificant.

According to the modern position of neurobiology, at birth, the average size of the brain and motor activity are slightly larger in boys;and starting from six months, verbal expression is more pronounced in girls. These differences should be considered in the light of family and social influences that contribute to the formation of neural networks of the young brain, which is in the development stage.

2. Hormonal features

They are often used to explain the differences between boys and girls. Two neurogormones participating in the formation of gender behavior were studied especially carefully.

Oxytocin is responsible for attachment in social communication, for cooperation, stress or self -confidence management. It is associated with „female“ behavior – tender, sensual and maternal. It should be noted that at present there is no strong scientific basis to support this assumption – there is not enough knowledge about the exact mechanisms of oxytocin on the nervous system.

Testosterone Usually involved in „male“ psychosocial characteristics: rivalry, masculinity, impulsiveness, and so on. Although testosterone really affects the size and strength of the muscles, its effect on the nervous system and behavior is also not studied deeply.

To date, the connection between sexual desire and testosterone in the general population of healthy adult men has also not been established

Although with castration or pathologies similar in effect, an erection occurs, sexual desire does not disappear. Sexual activity arises to a greater extent due to mental activity, which changes depending on the lifestyle and events.

The study of the connection between testosterone in the blood and aggressiveness/violence or risky behavior gives similar data: testosterone in the blood is not associated with aggressive or risky behavior in adolescents, as well as in men performing antisocial actions. For the latter, explaining factors are social factors (level of education, socio-economic origin).

3. Stress adaptation mechanisms

Когда возникает стрессовая реакция, исследования выделяют систему давления и систему памяти об условиях, в которых она запускается. They are directly intertwined with an emotional contour, including tonsils and a limbic system.

Some studies show gender differences in the activation of stress, contextual memory and emotional reaction systems. In women, the emotional system is launched, some sensory zones and waist cortex, and in men, changes in the activation of the prefrontal cortex with an increase in activation in the right half and a decrease in activation in the left.

Ethological interpretations are offered in terms of the “battle or flight” reaction in men and the “approach-carriage” reaction in women. In addition, https://mtmtravel-eg.com/homosexuality-doesn-t-make-you-even-worse/ the activation of the female brain, observed in response to stress, will contribute to the emergence of reflections – one of the risk factors for the development of depression. It is regularly noted that this psychopathology is more common in women and is explained by risk factors associated with a close social network (romantic and married relations, raising children and parenthood).

However, the latest epidemiological data show that men are more susceptible to depression – in case of difficulties at work, divorce and separation, or when stress factors accumulate for a long period of time.

4. Behavioral and neurofunctional differences

Women show the best results in sensory, visual (facial) memory and social cognition, and men in spatial perception, three -dimensional thinking and sensorimotor speed. Differences in the brain are the basis of behavioral observations. Strong ties are observed in men within one hemisphere of the brain, while in women they are between two hemispheres.

In men, this connection can explain the high speed of information processing and the fulfillment of tasks connecting perception with action, and in women – the ease of integration of reasoning and intuition, which leads to an improvement in emotional intelligence and the level of language proficiency.

Why know this?

From a practical point of view, the question arises of the influence of these gender differences on the skills of overcoming difficulties. The stressful situation imposes emotional restrictions that can differently affect men and women. Regardless of psychological or physical stress, it is important for neuronauki to study these restrictions in detail in terms of gender in order to better understand the risk of depression and develop methods for countering it.

The sex of a person affects his brain, but how exactly depends on many factors. Obviously, existing knowledge does not allow an effective inventory of differences between men and women. There are still many studies on the interaction between the development of the brain, the processes of response to stress and vulnerability to environmental factors in both men and women. This work is necessary to comprehend and implement effective adaptation to any situations.

What to read about the brain? 5 great books

1. Robert Sapolski „Biology of good and evil. How science explains our actions “ . A detailed explanation of the brain at all levels, with an emphasis on how this affects our behavior.

2. Mitio Kaku „Future of reason“ . An attempt to predict where evolution will lead the human brain further.

3. Vyacheslav Dubynin „The brain and its needs: from nutrition to recognition“ . How hunger and curiosity, fear and aggression, freedom and joy are formed.

4. Daniel Golman „Emotional intellect“ . How emotions differ from logic, how are they formed and how to pump them.

5. Luann Bryisendine „Women’s brain“ . The first large -scale description of the differences between the male and female brain at the neurophysiological level.

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